Life. <3

My life can be super depressing.
I have food issues and am super insecure at times. I absolutely hate my body. I have anxiety. I’m the most selfish person I know, and I have no desire to change that. I don’t bother having a conversation with 90% of people (usually because I think they’re an idiot within 30 seconds of meeting them), which results in me having 2 friends that I actually hang out with. One of those friends is in the hospital (recent minor surgery) and one of those friends is out with other friends, like a normal person.

Every now and then, I roll around in my thoughts of how pathetic my life is. It’s Friday night and I am home alone. And 133 lbs.
So I put on nice make up for an adventure to the liquor store. I have to laugh at myself, because I feel like a teenager walking back with a brown bag of wine sticking out of my gigantic purse. Except now I can do it legally.

I get home, open said bottle of wine and start drinking. It usually ends with me writing super intelligent, beneficial blog posts like this one.

Sometimes it’s fun to throw shit, drink too much wine and cry for a while, and say “I HATE LIFE”.
Just sayin’.

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3 comments

  1. Been there…far too often.
    Stay up. It passes, then you realize how awesome you actually are and go back into the world refreshed. Don’t think of it as not having friends, think of it as not having a bunch of worthless people draining your life energy. It works for me…sometimes.

    Dm

    1. I honestly think that’s a good way to look at things, especially when I’m being a Debbie Downer. There’s no use in spending time and energy on people I don’t give a fart about.
      Thanks! 🙂

      1. Amen to that! I get caught up soooo many times hoping and praying that these people that don’t know me, care about me or even like me will be my friend.
        It’s not worth the effort. Even though it feels like you have fewer and fewer friends as you get older…you realize it’s for a good reason.

        I think back to all of the “Fast-friends” I had as a teen and in my 20’s and I realize that i’m not that kind of person anymore. I have a job, I have an adult life that I have to maintain…I can’t just let anyone come in and wreck what I’ve fought soooo long and hard to build.

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