grow: diets.

I’ve been waffling more than Cora’s during a Sunday brunch rush.

Do I diet, or just eat what I want when I’m hungry?
Eat intuitively or a plan all my meals?

I said “no more diets!” and then I broke down and bought myself 3 months of Weight Watchers, as if that would solve my problems.
Since buying the Weight Watchers, I gained weight. Not lots, only 2 or 3 pounds, but I still gained weight.
I developed wicked tension headaches, my eating habits feel less balanced, and I feel less mentally stable.

I wonder how many times I need to jerk my body and eating habits around before I understand that me + diets = miserable.
Maybe later in life if I’m trying to lose weight after having kids, I’ll be ok with dieting.
But at this point in life, me and diets do not work together.
I need to accept that, and accept my weight.
Sadly I’m not really sure how to go about doing that. If anyone has some tips, hollaaaa.

Part 2: Weight Loss and Natural Happy Weight.

I stopped using birth control at the beginning of this month because my doctor said it could help with my headaches.
The last time I stopped using birth control, I dropped 10 pounds in a month without changing a thing.
I was eating tons of jalapeno & cheddar kettle chips and chicken fingers, not to mention 2 or 3 english muffins instead of real food for supper, and I still dropped 10 lbs.

I was a little curious, so this morning I stepped on the scale not knowing what to expect.
Even after my carb-fest, and making terrible food choices all week, I lost 2 lbs.
My brain exploded.

I’m going to keep weighing myself once a week, because those 2 lbs could just be water weight.
But if this keeps happening, what the fudge happened to calories in-calories out? Food diaries? Eating healthy, low cal foods to lose weight?
I throw those practices out the window, and that’s when I lose weight.
I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m not completely in control of what my weight is.
I think my body knows what weight is healthy, and will get and stay there if I don’t mess it up with hormones, binges and diets.
For example, I have been at or close to 133 lbs for over 2 years. The only time that number changed was last year when I was doing Body for Life (a high-protein, low carb diet). I went down to 130.
As you can imagine, I was ravenous and feeling deprived, so I bounced back up to 133 on my “cheat day” every single week.

I need to stop with dieting.
Body for Life was the hardest diet I’ve ever done, and I lost 0 pounds in total.
I gained weight while on Weight Watchers.
I was confused and deprived while eating Clean Diet food, and stayed the same weight.

This is proof that diets. Do. Not. Work. For. Me.

Here’s my plan.
. eat real and delicious food. Don’t waste my time, money, tastebuds or calories on food that I don’t want or enjoy.
. fuel hard workouts.
. dance, play, run and jump because I love doing it.
. eat treats and test everything I make for “quality control”.
. resist the urge to diet (and pretend its not super weird that I have an urge to diet).
. read this post whenever I find myself saying “I’ll just cut back on sugar, up my protein and work really hard for a couple weeks, I’ll probably lose like 5 pounds”. Sometimes I’ll need to remember that diets are all the same, and none of them will make my life better.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. […] look slim and trim for my tropical trip in January. But I already havetons of proof that diets and “lifestyle changes” are not for me, and it’s way too easy for me to slip back into disordered […]

  2. […] really want to attempt to do something about my weight. My brain is saying “no no no no no, you know what happens when you diet!” but I can’t stop myself from considering […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: