grow: born this wa-hay.

Recently, I had a little bit of an epiphany.

I am who I am.
I am goofy.

I’m ambitious and determined. I’m passionate about the things I love. I’m hard to deal with at times. I can be belongs-in-an-institution depressed and crazy. I’m smart and I’m aware of it, but I’ll still do really stupid things. I can be full of myself (or definitely give off that impression). I’m insecure sometimes. I like attention and think it’s flattering when people think I’m attractive. I want to impress people, and I want to be liked. I care what people think of me. I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings by “talking it out” with someone, I can only let it out by writing, exercising or eating. I’m mentally older than 20 years old. I’m selfish, and will almost always put myself before others (which is why I am not having kids for a longggg time). I can be lazy and unmotivated. I’m uptight and anxious. I’m fiery. I’m a follower, definitely not a leader at this point.

I will never be as thin as I want because I love good food, and I love eating. I think food is art. I would rather have a little belly than never fully enjoy an amazing meal again.
I will always have lots of muscle, because I like moving my body and testing the limits of my own strength. I am not a stereotypically beautiful person. I will always have big, green eyes, full lips, pink cheeks, a round face, big ears, tiny teeth (two of which are fake), a little dent in the side of my face, and ridonk curly hair (except in these pictures, because I straightened it) because that’s me.

And all of that’s ok. I don’t have to be the perfect woman that’s in my head.
I don’t need to be calm and collected to be awesome, and I don’t need to look like Eva Mendes to be gorgeous. (Although on a side note, I totally do look like Bernadette from Big Bang Theory, and she is prettyyyy nerd-hottt.)

My cheekbones aren’t prominent, I don’t have a nice jawline, I’m 5 feet tall and a size 6, I’m pale and a little freckly, and I’m top heavy.
But that’s all fine and dandy. Who I am is beautiful.

“Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye.”
– Grey Livingston

“Finding joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.”
– Rosalind Russell

“I don’t like standard beauty – there is no beauty without strangeness.”
– Karl Lagerfeld

“I never saw a smiling face that wasn’t beautiful.”
– anonymous



  1. Beautiful!
    Don’t change a thing hon!

    1. Thank you! 🙂
      I just realized how similar this post is to my drunken Life. ❤ post. My posts are not always about my personality traits or how terrible my life is, I promise. Haha.

      1. Well, I struggle with self-esteem issues and I’m a guy so imagine how odd that is in american society! No acceptance anywhere and therapists don’t take well to it either.
        Ah well…self therapy.

      2. Wow. That really sucks. You’d think therapists would be happy to help you out, since they get paid for it whether you’re a man or woman.
        I think I’ll stick to self therapy as well.

  2. Karl T · · Reply

    Have to admit, you definitely capture her nerdy cuteness.

    Whomever said ‘Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses’ must have been rejected by a girl wearing glasses…..

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