grow: a different kind of craving.

I will not diet.
I will not diet.
I will not diet.

This is an unusual internal battle, at least for me. Instead of getting cravings for chocolate or, I’m feeling the need to restrict, to cut back.

I have dance on the brain, and I’ve started dreaming about being on the performance team again. Not this year, but maybe next year.
Being the only overweight dancer on the team doesn’t sound appealing.

I started to get thoughts like “come on, it’s so easy for other people, it could work for you too” and “just cut back on sugar, skip that glass of wine with dinner and boom, 5 pounds gone”.

This is a baddddd thought pattern for me. As I’ve said many a-time on my blog, diets do not work for me.
I nearly convinced myself to come up with an eating plan, count up my daily calories and get rid of any sweet stuff in the apartment for the kajillionth time.

But I don’t need to.

I need to remember that I’m good enough, just the way I am. I am still a great, strong and flexible dancer even if I am 5 pounds overweight. Having a little gut doesn’t change that.

I am feeling really unbalanced at the moment. I ate red velvet cheesecake every day last week, and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast over the past few days. That’s enough to make anyone feel bloated and crappy.

Instead of “cracking down” on my eats, I just need to listen to my body better. Believe it or not, I don’t always want dessert, and cookies for breakfast isn’t something I want more than once in a while. I doubt I was listening to my appetite when I ate them. Maybe I was bored or too lazy to make a healthy (or normal) breakfast.

Tomorrow, I’m going to listen. My tummy might be saying “french toast made with raisin bread and topped with a little bit of leftover cream cheese icing”.
Or maybe it’ll say “savory turkey and egg sandwich on wholesome sprouted grain bread”.
I seriously doubt it will be saying “cookies”.

Instead of dieting or cutting back, I just need to tune in. I totally believe that my body is constantly telling me what it wants and needs to balance out, it’s my job to listen to it.

How do you feel about eating intuitively? A lot of people think your body telling you what it needs through cravings is a lot of hocus pocus. I’m a believer, obvs. It makes biological sense to me.

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