Recently, I had a little bit of an epiphany.
I am who I am.
I am goofy.
I’m ambitious and determined. I’m passionate about the things I love. I’m hard to deal with at times. I can be belongs-in-an-institution depressed and crazy. I’m smart and I’m aware of it, but I’ll still do really stupid things. I can be full of myself (or definitely give off that impression). I’m insecure sometimes. I like attention and think it’s flattering when people think I’m attractive. I want to impress people, and I want to be liked. I care what people think of me. I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings by “talking it out” with someone, I can only let it out by writing, exercising or eating. I’m mentally older than 20 years old. I’m selfish, and will almost always put myself before others (which is why I am not having kids for a longggg time). I can be lazy and unmotivated. I’m uptight and anxious. I’m fiery. I’m a follower, definitely not a leader at this point.
I will never be as thin as I want because I love good food, and I love eating. I think food is art. I would rather have a little belly than never fully enjoy an amazing meal again.
I will always have lots of muscle, because I like moving my body and testing the limits of my own strength. I am not a stereotypically beautiful person. I will always have big, green eyes, full lips, pink cheeks, a round face, big ears, tiny teeth (two of which are fake), a little dent in the side of my face, and ridonk curly hair (except in these pictures, because I straightened it) because that’s me.
And all of that’s ok. I don’t have to be the perfect woman that’s in my head.
I don’t need to be calm and collected to be awesome, and I don’t need to look like Eva Mendes to be gorgeous. (Although on a side note, I totally do look like Bernadette from Big Bang Theory, and she is prettyyyy nerd-hottt.)
My cheekbones aren’t prominent, I don’t have a nice jawline, I’m 5 feet tall and a size 6, I’m pale and a little freckly, and I’m top heavy.
But that’s all fine and dandy. Who I am is beautiful.
“Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye.”
- Grey Livingston
“Finding joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.”
- Rosalind Russell
“I don’t like standard beauty – there is no beauty without strangeness.”
- Karl Lagerfeld
“I never saw a smiling face that wasn’t beautiful.”